‘You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.’ Kahlil Gibran
At this time of year I hear so many clients and friends talking about how depleted they are, how much they are looking forward to a break and how they feel as though they have nothing left to give. It makes it difficult to enjoy preparing for the festive season or even celebrating with friends when you’re completely spent.
One client of mine has a different perspective. She helped me change the way I feel about Christmas this year.
We spoke a few weeks ago and she shared her enthusiam for gift giving. Not being much of a shopper myself, I listened with interest to find out how she gets so much joy from something I’d begun to see as a chore.
She told me, “I spend months taking notice of what each person talks about most. I find out as much as I can about their interests and then I research unique alternatives to everyday gifts.”
One example of this was being able to track down a first edition book from a favourite author for her brother. Another was a handmade voucher for babysitting to accompany a restaurant dinner gift for her sister.
Like everyone around me, I run short of hours at this time of year but my client inspired me to make a bit of space in my diary to get back in the spirit of giving.
I thought about the times I had loved Christmas most. They were they years when the girls were little and I’d put in so much effort – baking shortbread, hand making cards and wrapping everything beautifully. Giving like that actually energised me.
A number of researchers including Martin Seligman, Rick Hanson and the guys at Gallup acknowledge that giving actually does as much (if not more) for the giver in terms of improving wellbeing. But we often forget that, particularly when we’re exhausted and drained already.
I’m not suggesting you don your apron on and start baking shortbread, but I do think it’s worth thinking about how you can make something meaningful of the festive season.
My tips for getting into the giving spirit:
Give to yourself first. Before you even think about setting a date for late night shopping, take one evening out for yourself. Turn off the television and do something that is really relaxing. Go for a walk, take a long bath, talk to your partner, read a book or listen to music.
Volunteer. It might be too late to offer your help at a soup kitchen on Christmas Day but it’s a good time to look for ways you can contribute for next year. Visit Good Company for ideas.
Make someone else’s day. Giving isn’t all about gifts. Take half an hour to call an old friend, write a note of thanks or invite someone to join you for a home cooked meal.
Make a donation. Choose a cause that matters to you and send off a donation.
Keep a bit of time for you. You don’t have to give of yourself to everyone. Be realistic about how many social events you say yes to and keep aside a bit of time for you.
Donate blood. At this time of year donations of blood are more important than ever. Visit Red Cross for details.
Source: ‘Kate James is a work life balance coach, speaker and writer. She works with professionals who want to enhance their quality of life by making the right career and life choices. Kate can be contacted at www.totalbalance.com.au.’
